My name is Lucy and I am a Muslim female identifying as lesbian. I grew up with an Atheist father and Christian mother and was a practising Christian myself during my early adult life. I’ve always had a strong faith in God.
I realised I was attracted to women as a teenager and came out to my close family and friends and they accepted this. My sexuality journey continued into adulthood and I have had significant relationships with both men and women and these experiences have led me to identify today as lesbian. Along my journey, I met a Muslim man who became my husband and we had children together. Our marriage ended and I subsequently reconnected with my lesbian identity.
I came to Islam as an adult during my marriage. I’d always felt drawn towards Islam, learned more about it during my marriage and it felt so right so I embraced it. The last time I went to mosque I was attending a Quran class. The subject of same sex relationships was raised, and the general consensus was that this was comparable to child abuse and was from the Shaytan. I left the mosque very upset and felt rejected and lost. The community were not aware of my sexuality but knowing this opinion was held I felt unable to truly be myself with them anymore and confused about how I could be both lesbian and Muslim. Following this, I spent some time existing just being “me”, still feeling Muslim but not practising Islam.
During the Ramadan whilst took place during lockdown I felt a strong urge to reconnect with my faith and Allah guided me to Hidayah. This helped me to reconcile my two parallel identities which has left me with a great sense of inner peace. Alhumdullilah! I am hoping to continue my journey by being openly lesbian and Muslim, something I haven’t felt able to do in the past. This feels liberating and being part of Hidayah gives me the confidence to do it as I know I have the support I need. It feels important for me to play my part in the process of change towards acceptance and understanding of LGBTQI+ Muslims. I want those who have not yet been able to peacefully reconcile these identities themselves to know that it is ok to be you and there are people out there who can understand and support you.